FORGING FATHERS INTO LEGENDS
LET US AS FATHERS, BE WORTHY OF OUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS
LET US AS FATHERS, BE WORTHY OF OUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS
Here is a topic that does not usually pop up at the pub. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Self-care? I barely have time to shower, let alone pamper myself!” Trust me, I’ve been there. In fact, I’ve been the poster child for putting my own health and wellbeing dead last on the priority list. And have I paid for it.
I’ve literally pushed my body through pain and injury until it broke. And not just once – I’ve done it multiple times. For what? I thought I was being tough, setting an example, putting my family first. But here’s the kicker – as fathers, we need to realize that without our health and mental wellbeing running smoothly, we end up letting down the very people we’re pushing so hard for – our kids and family.
It took multiple surgeries and some hard lessons for me to finally get it. Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. It’s like that safety demonstration on airplanes (remember those?). You’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first before you can help others. The same goes for life as a dad.
Now, I’m not talking about booking yourself weekly spa treatments (though if that’s your thing, then go for it). Self-care can be as simple as making sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, or taking a few minutes each day to do something you enjoy. For me, it’s been about learning to listen to my body. When it says “slow down,” I actually try to listen now instead of pushing through until something breaks. I don’t always succeed but I am trying to improve.
I’ve also learned that taking care of my mental health is just as important as physical health. Stress, anxiety, even depression – these are real issues that many of us dads face, often in silence. Maybe it’s a part of how we were raised. I don’t ever remember my dad complaining about anything a day in his life, but thinking back on memories now, I realise the signs were there during times he found tough – the same signs I am exhibiting when I am stressed out but saying nothing. But here’s the thing: dealing with these issues head-on doesn’t make us weak. If anything, it makes us stronger and better equipped to handle the challenges of fatherhood.
One of the biggest challenges and game-changer for me has been carving out some dedicated time for myself each day. It pretty much comes down to the 1hr I allocate to hit the gym. That is my time, and I ask the kids to respect that and not interrupt me unless it was really an emergency. Other times, it’s reading a book or working on a hobby when I get a little spare time. Whatever it is, that time to recharge has made me a more patient, present, and happier dad.
And you know what? My kids have noticed. They see that Dad takes care of himself, and it’s teaching them valuable lessons about self-respect and balance. Yes they still call me fat, and like to point out that I have grey hair, but I can see their eyes watching what I do, how I act, how I handle situations and they soak it up like little sponges. Plus, when I’m not running on fumes, I have so much more energy and enthusiasm for those impromptu wrestling matches, a bike ride or a game on the console.
Look, I get it. Finding time for self-care when you’re juggling work, family, and a million other responsibilities feels impossible.
But trust me when I say not that it’s worth it, but that it’s essential.
Start small. Maybe it’s waking up 15 minutes earlier for some quiet time with your coffee. Or perhaps it’s scheduling a regular check-up with your doctor instead of putting it off (again – yes, I am one of those guys and have to be pretty much on death’s door before I am convinced to book in to see the doc).
Remember, we’re all in this together. As fathers, we’re part of a brotherhood. So let’s look out for each other. If you see a fellow dad struggling, reach out. Sometimes just knowing someone’s got your back can make all the difference.
In the end, taking care of ourselves isn’t just about us. It’s about being the best dads we can be for our families. Because when we’re healthy, happy, and whole, everyone wins. So, let’s make a pact, shall we? Let’s promise to put ourselves on the priority list. Not at the expense of our families, but for the benefit of them. After all, our kids deserve the best version of us – and that starts with taking care of ourselves.
Now, let’s talk about some practical steps we can take for our mental and physical health:
Mental Health:
Physical Health:
Remember, my suggestion is always to start with clean eating and a resistance training regime that you can work into your own work, family, and social commitments. Don’t think you have to do the training programs that other people are doing! Consistency is the key, and if you bite off more than you can chew, you won’t enjoy it, it won’t become a habit, and you won’t be consistent – all things that are going to put a nail in the coffin of success.
By incorporating these practices into your life gradually and consistently, you’re not just improving your health – you’re setting an example for your family about the importance of self-care. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s the foundation that allows you to be there for others in a meaningful way.
I am a father of 5 wild and awesome kids. and the creator of the IRON FATHER. This is a blog about self reflection and fatherhood, and striving to become better. From one father to another, we can all seek improvment and forge ourselves into the legend that our kids deserve.
IRON FATHER is a brand dedicated to empowering fathers to embrace their roles with strength, resilience, and active engagement in their children’s lives.
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